Friday, December 15, 2017

A goodbye to 2017

How are you? How is your life? How much has it changed since the last time I wrote? :P

Hiya, its been an awesome year with 2017 by far the most positive year. 2016 was like a kick in the gut and 2017 continued but I somehow learnt to deal with that kick.

I want to thank 2017 for everything. I can literally see the whole year in my imaginations. The beginning, so vivid so intense I can never forget even the littlest moments since the end of December last year and the story continued from there on. I took up a job, again, I guess for the last time!
It ended with me writing a fiery letter to my boss if he harassed me verbally again in a professional setting.

Yeah yeah I know. By now, you should know it too. My life is never going to be non controversial. And I am unapologetic about it today. I trust myself enough to know that I do disagree with how things are and I won't be just watching them happen anymore.

So yes post that, I have majorly spent time with my Chartered accountant getting my company registration to work out and also understand GST and its business implications.

I have thrown more than a dozen people out of my life. Proud to say, I have zero tolerance for negativity and mediocrity. There are some who just do not deserve a seat at your table.

Here is something I am vouching for, getting rid of the people who are not meant for you is the single most important aspect of your success in life to begin. Yes, I experienced it first hand.
Its something thats always advised but damn it works.

I have realized the importance of keeping the energy clean in office, at home and within. Everything revolves around our energy and it is our duty to keep it positive and active.

I have learnt to be happy and calm when broke. Basically I have learnt to live life as a broke person. My earnings are no longer monthlly. They are anytime and most of the time they are not there and it is FINE. I spent 2016 dying of guilt that I had less money than what I assumed was a limit to live with. Now I have none and yet my work continues.

Most importantly I have learnt to be happy with what I have. Sounds cliched. It is not. We all dream of more, want more and have a standard we want to reach and that drives ambition.  To keep my sanity and bring in more peace I drove away ambition. Ambition gives you and your near ones a lot of pain because you are always chasing an image, blindly ever so. Its not healthy and definitely not positive.
I am not ambitious anymore. I enjoy the process of doing something. AND THAT HAS given me happiness.

Another gift of killing ambition is I learnt to delay gratification and in some cases I achieved cancelling it out altogether. Ambition subconsciously makes you want and get things you don't need but only because you  aspire to look something and be something you are not. It becomes difficult to resist the temptation to not follow that ambition. But when you deny ambition, you get real and understand from a soul perspective, if you really NEED something. The answer is always a NO.

I learnt that anger, greed and trying to prove my point is a waste of my energy and gives me no benefit. So I am leaving that behind. But I give myself full permit to give bad words at the right time so that I remain free from any baggage.

I have found Joy in giving. Doing something nobody would expect me to do. I bake cakes for no reason or occasion. I take a drive with my dogs with no purpose. I invite random people for tea and see them happy. It doesn't take a lot.

MOST IMP - I learnt how to take care of my skin and do make up. Yes. As shocking as the words me and makeup in same line is, this art of creating a face with features and colors got me hooked. It gave me a break and took me away in imaginations. I started playing with different elements in color cosmetics and there is so much to learn. Its fabulous. And I love to do it to friends and family getting ready to go to a wedding. The basics of mascara and a lipgloss I reserve it for me.

Lots of good lessons haan. They don't come easy honey and for that I am thankful.

So 2018, as you would have derived is going to be a GREAT YEAR. It is going to ROCK.

Its all inside of us.

Monday, January 16, 2017

Non defined

October 19, 2013 at 5:07pm

You make me come to something I cannot define,
hear you talk to me heart to heart, 
I felt we never grew apart..
It feels fonder everytime I connect to you
mesmerized by how we could stay through

The years, moments n time didnt matter
We lived through that space that was ours, 
had no idea about the hours, 

Our space, not corresponding to time of the day
we just knew and our hearts found the way

A liberation of the soul that was born to love, 
Risen above, unconditioned and reborn,
flying free and higher

That which has no word, that which has no meaning, 
means so much more than any
where we fall silent, 
yet words so many

they, which shake the being inside, 
I feel my facades fading away
as I melt into my ecstacy of vulnerable
and envelope around You,

Till our eyes fill with dew
and we merge into the stare,
not as me and you 
but a soul parted in two.

                                                                                             - Sneha Mallya 


June 20, 2013 at 11:48pm

Deep breath, a familiar smell..
smell of him.. 
the memory latches onto the smell 
till i find him.. n there he is

trace of a past long gone by, 
feelings that once maybe..
untraceable though,
but the smell..
how else would i identify

The first rains
we soaked in together,
the masala chai we cheered together
the touch of his hand 
that feeling..
i feel it no more.

How do u reference to something
which mattered so much at one point..
how does it slip away 
you are the same person,
aren't you?

But the smell haunts me
the whiff takes me back
as I sneeze away the choke of it
he crosses my path
just like time did..

The Bad Day..

January 30, 2013 at 2:23pm
This day and I exist together in this life as an on n off passionate relaitonship. As much as it wants to come into my life, I keep watching over the kerb awaiting its arrival in my well sprung, fairytale life. We hate each other,but we can't live without the other.
Just when life is fancier and dreamlike and I begin to float in my narcissistic aroma, the bad day takes things into charge and snaps me back to reality. Its the day where everything, trust me, everything goes just wrong. Miscommunication - maybe it is the villain but I shall not give it direct credit. Its the bad day that causes miscommunication to happen.
Nothing works out, what has worked out goes right out the window.. all the dearth of worst comes flying from nowhere. There is a constant need to keep on correcting what someone has to feel about me. Not one or two, just a family member but anyone or everyone I meet. Its like I can't just exist .. I need to roam around with an explanation certificate.

I can't just have a headache and take my medicine for it. I cannot acknowledge it and I should respect someone else's priorties. If I can't bend my head for you, I am worthless.The bad day wins when someone condemns me for wanting to have a coffee at whatever the fuck time of the day and I am labelled. Thats it. The bad day deserves one whack on its ass.

Gettting out my home, and my revenge mode gets activated. I have two mugs of coffee and write the most blatant writing of this time. Meet a third person and don't throw my frustration on them. I help a friend with a presentation. Lend my earphones to someone (that's huge for me). Bad day ke maa ki aankh! You can't get the worst you wanted from me.

I win. 

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Onion Rings

The marvellously versatile and irreplaceable vegetable takes a bow with its fried version.
This dish is my favorite with beer or scotch on rocks and when I want to treat myself.
High on taste and delight. In search of one this evening or might just as well create one this way.

Onion Rings

Monday, May 2, 2016

Random Thoughts in a train journey

A good break from driving my car around is the time to look out of a running train, sit and ponder about things and observe people. I was on my way to a destination of exploration hence my mind was open and wandering in a rhythm. 
I made it a point to note my thoughts. So here is a glimpse.
Look at this fast train going out of town. It doesn't care about the city, its people crossing or shitting. It is determined to make it to its destination. The head of the train pulls along its entire trail and reaches its destination on time. Such should be a vision. You have got to have a drive in your head that blows anything that comes your way and reach where you have to. 
Have you stopped to notice how small kids talk to themselves, make up stories and enact them right where they are. What a wonderful and natural creativity is given to us. Its a craft we do so naturally when our minds have not yet known the constraints of the adult life. 
Yes I chose. When I failed to find a meaning, I decided to create one. I stepped out in a bright sun to ride across town to see something that is thousands of years old. A historical place where I want to wonder what they thought when they were here. Maybe we will find a connect. After all the same wisdom is buzzing inside me. Hence I am seeking it. 
Noise - especially the one at home. You hate it, you hated it all your life. But you dread to be without it. Because whats tough is to know your problem that you could feel sorry for is no longer around. Silence is therefore a true test of our relationship with ourselves.
When the imposing outer world slows down and you catch up to your own beating, you will have to accept that there is no one else. Everything is your creation. Take charge. 
Lastly travel. Just travel. Walk on and you shall find the road just as you shall find your self. 

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Tez Dhaar

No introduction is needed for Sanjay Dutt, next in line worshipped after Salman Khan.

A tribute to an actor who really has never been an actual favorite of mine. I have liked his roles in bits and pieces. I had a chance to work in his co founded company Super Fight League in 2012 when it was to be launched. A grand launch and it continues its reign in a lesser known arena of Mixed Martial Arts.

Of all these years, the only thing that I totally like about him is the song that he sang in the Sanjay Gupta directed film Musafir. 'Tez Dhaar' I have never seen the video of this song until now that is.
I find this song to be the most melodious, subtle and inexplicably catchy.

Its about a bhai, and he explains the life of a gangster in the best of beats.

It is rhythmic, melodious and completely carries his voice and attitude over the duration of the track.

There is a small realization here. Ofcourse, it is my blog so a conclusion is in order. :)

We can never be sure of what we will like or dislike and for how long. I have started noticing and appreciating people, skills, experiences that I would have ignored earlier. Change is indeed constant.

I continue to humm to the song just the way he does. And he can humm. notice it in the adjoining audio.