Monday, January 16, 2017

Non defined

October 19, 2013 at 5:07pm

You make me come to something I cannot define,
hear you talk to me heart to heart, 
I felt we never grew apart..
It feels fonder everytime I connect to you
mesmerized by how we could stay through

The years, moments n time didnt matter
We lived through that space that was ours, 
had no idea about the hours, 

Our space, not corresponding to time of the day
we just knew and our hearts found the way

A liberation of the soul that was born to love, 
Risen above, unconditioned and reborn,
flying free and higher

That which has no word, that which has no meaning, 
means so much more than any
where we fall silent, 
yet words so many

they, which shake the being inside, 
I feel my facades fading away
as I melt into my ecstacy of vulnerable
and envelope around You,

Till our eyes fill with dew
and we merge into the stare,
not as me and you 
but a soul parted in two.

                                                                                             - Sneha Mallya 


June 20, 2013 at 11:48pm

Deep breath, a familiar smell..
smell of him.. 
the memory latches onto the smell 
till i find him.. n there he is

trace of a past long gone by, 
feelings that once maybe..
untraceable though,
but the smell..
how else would i identify

The first rains
we soaked in together,
the masala chai we cheered together
the touch of his hand 
that feeling..
i feel it no more.

How do u reference to something
which mattered so much at one point..
how does it slip away 
you are the same person,
aren't you?

But the smell haunts me
the whiff takes me back
as I sneeze away the choke of it
he crosses my path
just like time did..

The Bad Day..

January 30, 2013 at 2:23pm
This day and I exist together in this life as an on n off passionate relaitonship. As much as it wants to come into my life, I keep watching over the kerb awaiting its arrival in my well sprung, fairytale life. We hate each other,but we can't live without the other.
Just when life is fancier and dreamlike and I begin to float in my narcissistic aroma, the bad day takes things into charge and snaps me back to reality. Its the day where everything, trust me, everything goes just wrong. Miscommunication - maybe it is the villain but I shall not give it direct credit. Its the bad day that causes miscommunication to happen.
Nothing works out, what has worked out goes right out the window.. all the dearth of worst comes flying from nowhere. There is a constant need to keep on correcting what someone has to feel about me. Not one or two, just a family member but anyone or everyone I meet. Its like I can't just exist .. I need to roam around with an explanation certificate.

I can't just have a headache and take my medicine for it. I cannot acknowledge it and I should respect someone else's priorties. If I can't bend my head for you, I am worthless.The bad day wins when someone condemns me for wanting to have a coffee at whatever the fuck time of the day and I am labelled. Thats it. The bad day deserves one whack on its ass.

Gettting out my home, and my revenge mode gets activated. I have two mugs of coffee and write the most blatant writing of this time. Meet a third person and don't throw my frustration on them. I help a friend with a presentation. Lend my earphones to someone (that's huge for me). Bad day ke maa ki aankh! You can't get the worst you wanted from me.

I win. 

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Onion Rings

The marvellously versatile and irreplaceable vegetable takes a bow with its fried version.
This dish is my favorite with beer or scotch on rocks and when I want to treat myself.
High on taste and delight. In search of one this evening or might just as well create one this way.

Onion Rings

Monday, May 2, 2016

Random Thoughts in a train journey

A good break from driving my car around is the time to look out of a running train, sit and ponder about things and observe people. I was on my way to a destination of exploration hence my mind was open and wandering in a rhythm. 
I made it a point to note my thoughts. So here is a glimpse.
Look at this fast train going out of town. It doesn't care about the city, its people crossing or shitting. It is determined to make it to its destination. The head of the train pulls along its entire trail and reaches its destination on time. Such should be a vision. You have got to have a drive in your head that blows anything that comes your way and reach where you have to. 
Have you stopped to notice how small kids talk to themselves, make up stories and enact them right where they are. What a wonderful and natural creativity is given to us. Its a craft we do so naturally when our minds have not yet known the constraints of the adult life. 
Yes I chose. When I failed to find a meaning, I decided to create one. I stepped out in a bright sun to ride across town to see something that is thousands of years old. A historical place where I want to wonder what they thought when they were here. Maybe we will find a connect. After all the same wisdom is buzzing inside me. Hence I am seeking it. 
Noise - especially the one at home. You hate it, you hated it all your life. But you dread to be without it. Because whats tough is to know your problem that you could feel sorry for is no longer around. Silence is therefore a true test of our relationship with ourselves.
When the imposing outer world slows down and you catch up to your own beating, you will have to accept that there is no one else. Everything is your creation. Take charge. 
Lastly travel. Just travel. Walk on and you shall find the road just as you shall find your self. 

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Tez Dhaar

No introduction is needed for Sanjay Dutt, next in line worshipped after Salman Khan.

A tribute to an actor who really has never been an actual favorite of mine. I have liked his roles in bits and pieces. I had a chance to work in his co founded company Super Fight League in 2012 when it was to be launched. A grand launch and it continues its reign in a lesser known arena of Mixed Martial Arts.

Of all these years, the only thing that I totally like about him is the song that he sang in the Sanjay Gupta directed film Musafir. 'Tez Dhaar' I have never seen the video of this song until now that is.
I find this song to be the most melodious, subtle and inexplicably catchy.

Its about a bhai, and he explains the life of a gangster in the best of beats.

It is rhythmic, melodious and completely carries his voice and attitude over the duration of the track.

There is a small realization here. Ofcourse, it is my blog so a conclusion is in order. :)

We can never be sure of what we will like or dislike and for how long. I have started noticing and appreciating people, skills, experiences that I would have ignored earlier. Change is indeed constant.

I continue to humm to the song just the way he does. And he can humm. notice it in the adjoining audio.

Monday, August 17, 2015

Blue Night

I love the paradox of the light that has been gifted to us by nature. Night.
Technically, the absence of light.

Whats so wonderful about the night. It ends the day. It puts the reverberating energy to rest. One feels the stillness of the world as the mortals around you retire to dreams and REM. It is that time of a day that rejuvenates the tired senses in deep slumber. The mind gets to slow down.

It is also a time when I feel my demons go back to the closet. I get to have that space to let myself free. There is no prejudice, no explanations to anyone about how you feeling or how you stare at the night lit ceiling or wonder at the clarity you start gaining in darkness.
I can wriggle in the sheets to stretch my body to a limit I can. I feel the millions of sensations that my body goes through before it starts to take my consciousness away.
I get to dream about the life that I love and to design my world with regards to my present scenarios, well no actually. I design a world far surreal and away than the present.
It has lot of floating in space and touching the beauty of nature. I dream of caressing lions and tigers and getting smothered in their love. Or a hundred puppies running towards me and filling me up with ecstasy.

Sometimes I run at the speed of light and this imagination has always made me feel so energized.
I talk to plants and they respond to me.
The best time is when I reminisce beautiful moments I spent in the arms of a lover and I enhance the setting, background by a change of seasons. I place both of us in a cozy setting at the top of mountains or great places that I see in magazines and feel the rush of winds in my ears as I hold his hand tightly. It is awesome to share the zest of life with your loved one.
Mesmerizing kisses and the wonderfully melting waist grabs.

Some days I also jump off tall buildings and high points and experience the exhilaration of falling without any control. This imagination helps to let go of a lot of beliefs that are troubling me concurrently in the day. Much like the Evanescence video Bring me to life.

There are beautiful notes of music that I hum to. There is always a background score running in my head any moment. Most mornings I get up and a song is stuck in my head all day.

I wish that there would be a recording device so that I can share this world as it plays in my head.

Its good to write down the beauty of dreaming and lucid dreaming. As you know it is imagination, so it goes in the other direction as well. Some days I give myself such nightmares, they affect me for long.

The night is thus a neutral. I feel like it is a beautiful,cool canvas. The only one which can be illuminated by stars and shining objects.

This canvas is my playground and yes it has to be painted with all colors but black and dark. Contrast it is.