Friday, December 21, 2012

Fool's Paradise


Lets talk today about the fool's paradise - marriage! Not all may agree.. but when did I write about agreeable stuff anyways..

So as far as those who have woken up from the amazing Matrix set around us in reality.. Marriage is glorified slavery. Tie down someone no matter what.. 'u happy not happy.. baby u married' No questions asked. 
Lets define marriage - It kills what two ppl shared as individuals and turns them into these zombies tied down by fragile, recycled papers and with a million expectations of everyone whose business it is not. 
Its not a cynical definition, its how we spend our life. I did not wake up today n decide to kick the ass of this ridiculous institution. But I wanna talk about it.. why not. 

Its where you see lawyers lust at you because you wanna have that one recycled piece of paper to separate you from someone you are long over with. Unlike a wedding, no one really comes to be with you. You are alone. 

We are waking up to the disgraced treatment metted out to women in this land of democracy n blah blah bullshit. No one gets spared you see. We maybe city girls. We maybe really good. We may not be sleeping around. But we roam around with a tag. A tag that is already entrusted on us. The tag with which everyone is going to talk to you. 

I would like to leave it all behind. I would like to start afresh. I would love to fall in love. But nope, the judgement is not going to leave me alone. I cannot simply marry someone. I will be tried, tested with fire before I am approved. 
I will be married to out of pity, sympathy or maybe money if I end up earning that much. 

I want to love, be loved.. for who I am. Its not simple I realized. And one failed marriage somehow is a PHD  in learning to live for yourself with ample love. You don't need judgments, you don't need nosy relatives and you don't need people to sniff your pussy for anything wrong. Curiosity can kill the libido as well forget the cat. 

'You can't be married and innocent.' It makes you wise. It teaches you public relations and people skills. Most of all, manipulation. 

This institute and the perpetual lie of monogamy for life was started for selfish purposes- that of inheritance. Who will the property go to after I die..ohh my blood ofcourse! As long as we were nomads, we were not mad. Then settlement demanded a society, a God that needed to be feared.. so everything was conveniently created. Our brains started working accordingly. Religion happened, mytho stories happened and now they are deeply rooted in our system. 

I am against a system which says this is the only way to be with someone. I feel its only in individual freedom will he/she choose to be with someone but out of choice. That is the way of life. And I had the privilege to be a part of such undefined relationships where words and we both were out of place but the heart was at home n peace. 

No judgement.

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Monday, December 3, 2012

What is Forever?


Our eternal belief, ingrained deep inside us - forever. We love everything which is forever. We want everything to last forever. We buy things that will last forever or at least wish they would.

Our relationship with forever decides our relationships as well. Who just falls in love today? We fall for an idea of forever. Anything that makes us feel better in the moment, wanting to make it last for a lifetime..we make our pick accordingly.
We do not invest in anything without a guarantee. It is ok with life insurance policies or lifetime membership of clubs. But I wonder if most of us will ever wake up to letting some things in life just take their own course.

We plan so much, we feel life is in our control. And when life surprises us which it is supposed to, we come up with all the drama to pacify ourselves.

Nothing is forever. This moment is forever. When I love someone and I want them forever its in this moment.    
You understand this once you have lived through a forever. You will realize its not a forever. Its till change do us apart.

I am Me and I can be a different Me and same is the case with you. If we still yearn and long for each other while we grow yes we can deal with a forever.

Its forever that is ever changing and we have no option but to brace ourselves and take it in our stride. Then, we won't be disappointed.


Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Just @ Work!

Success is not something you pursue. Success is something you attract by the person you become.

What a wonderful statement to ponder upon. Why are we not brought up with these teachings. They are certainly vital than all the gyaan we have been rataoing and puking in our answer papers. 
Only some of us find their way around. Others live their life in a mist and wonder what went wrong with them. 

Self Discovery is a life saver but isn't realized so. 

I had my 4th or 5th time of running out of my house with packed bags and moving into a decent room all for myself. Its been 3 days and nights. The first day I was greeted with beautiful rains hitting Mumbai for the first time. The cool and lush of green captivated me signalling my move had been brave and necessary. It was congratulating me for having finally taken upon courage to actually make it happen and now 'living with it'. 
I have a mate sincerely understanding of my awkwardness to my new surroundings and adjustments. She loves to cook not just for herself, she shares everything with me and guides me pyaar se in places I could have done better. 
I am lucky and I am grateful. 

I felt the pang of being away from my homeground and my lazing comforts. I instantaneously realized what has been taken for granted. 

You may be thinking what's all this gotto do with my very first line. Yep baby, its all about attitude. With the right attitude, the monies, success, prosperity n well being will follow you around like a slave. Its not about earning money, its about earning that which shall bring all to you. 

And that has definitely got to do with how you Are. 

An inner process starts at the most undesirable and uncomfortable times of our lives, making it easy to miss. 

I am in one right now.. 

Friday, April 20, 2012

Who Do I Think I Am

We all have days of different intensities.. Some days we feel enlightened and sorted, some days we wonder if that was true. I feel its enough that such times should come and spoil my time till I feel better again.
Hence I am going to remind myself of things that do not cross my troubled mind.

1) Music- My happy pill. Instant, guaranteed uplifter.
2) Life Membership For Swimming- This is water therapy. I always forget this and what this had done to my mind and body. I get to this right away.
3) Badminton- I am naturally good at this sport and can start this anywhere. I should invest in raquets and some shuttle cocks.
4) Running- Alleviate depression quickly. Run. We are generally running away from our problems, I simply have to start running and problems get left behind faraway.
5) Cooking- Another stress buster, aroma therapeutic way to de stress is cooking. And I love coming up with random foods.
6) Reading- I love reading. I am an addictive reader and can devour books. Perhaps the only time when I forget myself, hunger, thirst and sleep.
7) Singing- I am a RockStar! Again something I forget.
8) Photographer- I am naturally blessed again.
9) Dancing- I can beat anyone here. My confidence here has been unshaken. I must simply start it.
10) Stylist- I haven't yet seen the style I can carry on anyone else. I am a fashion non conformist. I make my own fashion.
11) Blog- Here it is. :)
12) Film maker/Writer- Yes baby!
13) A much better human that my understanding.
Also endowed with a great career..

I am way better off in my own style with my best. Thank you Me.
You make my life worth it! Here I begin.. 

Monday, January 2, 2012

Love the madness..


As the New Year has started.. I have decided I am gonna exceed all the madness i have done so far.. Be madder! There's no time to lose.

..Theres nothing like staying put n gettin used to the madness.. wher you once lost your cool, blamed around.. felt bad.. regained ur self after a loss of time.. This process you see shapes you up. Makes you tougher on the inside.. COz the noise and the madness of this world.. just pressurizes you and pushes you nowhere but on the INSIDE..that big vast world where just You reside. All it takes is perspective. Copyrighted line: Celebrate your tragedies.. Der was just no way better, that GOd could be shouting in your ears..to seek the Best for you! Hear it.

Nowadays, I love making mistakes, I love to laze around till the last bell.. wait to see how the person reacts rather than assume his reaction..love to feel love for those I fight brutally with... I love to stay! Love to be right there..
I can see today that that which we know as Good, nice ...Approved by everyone is So Fake Indeed. I love to see the wild side, I love to see ppl raw in their behaviour.. where they come open with what really makes them, breaks them.
It takes me a few seconds to gauge people.. intuition at its strongest! No longer a thought more to consider someone who did not appeal to my intelligence.

I no longer feel attracted to what appears bright n gorgeous..success to me has been redefined.. i love what lies in the darkness..its amazing ! I love the truth bare, naked..at its purest! Money is respected and important.

It feels awesome to experiment hugging my loved one when they have absolutely lost it on me, to appreciate someone I just bashed at with my hurting tongue.. It would not surprise me nor make me feel bad if I was slapped by someone.. I love to observe things.. see what happens, how it happens, feel it happening.. life is wonderful..

I have subsided, become calm...love to observe. Love silence.. not the one wher theres no noise...but wheres theres a mom yellin at me.. N i m too faraway.. N at this level, there r very few ppl who connect..so its become easier to choose peers.. Life is ordinary.. and so very beautiful..

Came to terms with things I took for granted... Its really majestic ! It all comes around... n I saw it.. I felt it.. Have been able to see where I was wrong with someone, How someone would have felt then, How much was the hurt I gave to someone coz I did not want them to see me being hurt by them...Its a life full of ironies..Just when you are making a mark in your mental encyclopedia of what might be the answer to a question in life, and all of a sudden.. the question changes, the answer gets a new question or the encyclopedia changes..

Best part, theres no definite answer..to anything.. no idea of the future, The debate on whats wrong n right will never end.. and cannot be justified as well.. Each is to his own.. We are all left in the wilder to experience, face, question and mark our own answers and time to time change the encyclopedia as well.. Sometimes it makes perfect sense, sometimes I look at things I blink my eyes, touch it and wonder whether I am for real..coz its just something I may never fathom..

There are no coincidences...I would want to direct a few things in life and the whole plan changes.. someone shows His power..that I may be a nobody. Its a scare and a relief.. coz the next thought is the power must be taking care of me as well. That maybe all the crazy stuff I do, my unpredictability, curiosity must be a direct manifestation of the power. That I won't be the one directing it. Feels awesome to let go, free fall...live my part to the best.. Get the best feel for myself and in the process leave a lot behind..

I m too beyond this world, the scares of this world, I m beyond the fathomable.. I am serene and unmoved.. And here is wher I have experienced the most rare and uncanny n worthy of being overlooked moments.. they have redefined me, n my connection with that power.