Wednesday, November 5, 2014

A Thank You

Though I haven't updated anything on my blog in a very long time, it was truly a gift to see the stats on this blog. I have visitors everyday in double digits.
One it made me feel the need to thank all those who pay a visit here and also for the drive to update more reading material. I might be a lousy writer but I write pure, unedited original work.

So with a sincere thanks, I shall post a new post right now.

Hope you all enjoy.


Sunday, June 29, 2014

Advice is a form of nostalgia

Look what it came to. It chased me down like I was the last train of the night. Advice. The vice of advice.
I have a bunch of mortals who unseemingly continue playing a role not there in the script.

There was a time I was addicted to talking. Talking, talking, talking. Full of doubts, what ifs, worst case scenarios discussion. Options of choosing different personalities as if they were just characters to wear. I would not deny the particular time that this talk would actually help me stay sane. You see its the same thing with a medicine. You need it for a while as a course and then you better not take it if you intend to stay fit and fine. You have to stop taking the medicine when you are no longer sick.

A range of different age groups have been bitten by the Bored Sneha bug and the infection continues to haunt them. All it takes is me to appear in front and out comes the slumbered virus.

Just a few days ago, someone completely spoiled my coffee time with a back to back talk of things I seriously was not interested in hearing. Even if I wanna say hi, it is interpreted as a call for help. When did it get so bad? Its a sad fact that there was left no polite way to get out of this. It got ugly. The words that leave my mouth at such times are sharp, crisp and all the things they don't want to hear. Wonder why I wait for so long.

Most talks are unnecessary. Most meetings of 'Hi, whats up?' are a waste. Trust me I did not think so a while back. I thought it took the real me to go for some networking to happen.
Obviously you always connect with people. Stuff has to happen and a million different heads are going to clash over stuff. I no longer think its wise to put up with stuff one doesn't want to. Time is precious and one gets to decide what is it that really matters to one. What is important and whats not.
My 'Advice' would be please stop advising. I have never heeded it and won't ever. And I no longer mind drinking my coffee alone.

Thursday, February 27, 2014


I would not have thought I could be quiet. I suffered a writer's block. Jaded thinking. I fell ill and lost my sleep. I exceeded my thinking and analyzing capacity completely. Post all this, I needed the time to recover and be fine. 

so this big break... What the hell was I doing or overdoing... I read into stuff or I read about stuff to read into. I get obsessed about possessing a certain idea or explanation within my mental bounds or anything which exceeds them. Letting go is a virtue I haven't learned really. 
There is an idle mind that frets just like my heartbeat which is obvious to me being alive. Wonder where it became so synonymous with living 

One trip home and one check of the reality sets something on fire, another reference of something thats never going to disappear no matter how you overlook it and a certain sense of unjust and unfair scheme of things in the present moment determines a certain pulse in my head that starts to flow and connect the segregated fuel drops. A fire starts as it is being consciously doused. Every effort is not taken in the right measure can undo what you intended to do. I tried so hard to keep my fire doused, it just gets ignited and engulfs me into it. Those are my blind phases. Phases that reckon the fact that I am way beyond what I am trying to hide under and that cover is never going to be enough. 

WHy the need to hide... seriously? Because its the awesomeness you are not acquainted with that can blow you away. I did not want to look at the side of what I could be was I really left alone. And it has been so volatile.. 

Sunday, January 12, 2014

The Myth that is Plan B

There really must be a change in the way a parent communicates to the child. Why I would say so? Coz its so damning to know those imprints remain on your mental screen space for a long time. Undoing those is an effort of a lifetime. There are some fears instilled in you. You are made to sleep, act in a certain way by use of fear as a tool. When you grow up fine, the fears don't just go away. They make you live your life always hoping to have a cushion bed to fall on or to avoid risks altogether. 

I wondered why with every situation that did not go in my favor did I hear a faint voice asking me "now what?" .. and "what if i had". So apparently this scenario becomes so scary that everytime I do anything or face any event, I try to avoid going into now what and take solace in the fact that I will always have a 'Backup plan' .. Plan B

The focus of where do I put my emotions take us strongly onto the side of waiting for the disaster to happen and the kick of assertion with the readiness of a Plan B.. if mentally at all. The placebo effect of 'I am going to be fine because someone else has also thought this before me and I belong to the same race' is narcotic, if I am using the right word. 

We seem to want to be intoxicated with fantasy. We have no capacity to be real. No judgements but after your mind has been fed with umpteen fodder for your own protection by concerned influencers, you have no ounce of energy left to fight your own battles afresh when they happen. This edginess of scare makes us develop battles where there aren't any just so we could finally unleash the preparation and effort we did to combat it all of our conscious while. Sadistic though, the winner and the loser is the same. You. While one ego part may rejoice having protected you in some way through warnings, the other one wanting to experience may be fatigued out of the battle that was not necessary in the first place. 

Plan B is an effort. Its a divide and rule policy of your consciousness cause it does not have better challenges. 

The challenge to know you are not a follower of any but someone who should lead all of your minds. That playing victim and being small will not fetch you your dreams. That keeping yourself in the midst of the crowd is not security. 

Frankly, we don't have an option. No one asks us whether we would like to take birth now and be alive. You don't get to choose your birth date. We are given certain things. They are ours to accept and the acceptance will let you move on to bettering with what you have.

And giving yourself too many options only makes it worse.
When your mind knows there is no way out, it will let you through.