I would not have thought I could be quiet. I suffered a writer's block. Jaded thinking. I fell ill and lost my sleep. I exceeded my thinking and analyzing capacity completely. Post all this, I needed the time to recover and be fine.
so this big break... What the hell was I doing or overdoing... I read into stuff or I read about stuff to read into. I get obsessed about possessing a certain idea or explanation within my mental bounds or anything which exceeds them. Letting go is a virtue I haven't learned really.
There is an idle mind that frets just like my heartbeat which is obvious to me being alive. Wonder where it became so synonymous with living
One trip home and one check of the reality sets something on fire, another reference of something thats never going to disappear no matter how you overlook it and a certain sense of unjust and unfair scheme of things in the present moment determines a certain pulse in my head that starts to flow and connect the segregated fuel drops. A fire starts as it is being consciously doused. Every effort is not taken in the right measure can undo what you intended to do. I tried so hard to keep my fire doused, it just gets ignited and engulfs me into it. Those are my blind phases. Phases that reckon the fact that I am way beyond what I am trying to hide under and that cover is never going to be enough.
WHy the need to hide... seriously? Because its the awesomeness you are not acquainted with that can blow you away. I did not want to look at the side of what I could be was I really left alone. And it has been so volatile..